I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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