Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?