Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.