I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.