she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
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you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office