Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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