If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
