I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can feel your judgement through the phone
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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