Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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