We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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