Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
