I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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