There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
