Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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