I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
