She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
