Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
