Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
