Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
