my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
