Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
my poor anus
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
