But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
