i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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