youre lurking in front of me
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Let's paint friendship bongs
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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