yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
