Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
