i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
