He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize