Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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