the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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