so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Terrible idea I love it
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
