Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
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bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
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hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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