But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
