I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
