i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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