My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
