Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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