drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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