dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
