He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
