theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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