i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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