don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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