blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
we're so committed to being not committed
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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