I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can't put those talents on a resume
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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