I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize