Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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