were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
