PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
