On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
