"it" just moved
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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