Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
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You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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