Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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