A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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