R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
