please come you make the beer taste better
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
