accomplished twins. life is a go
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Randomize
