Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
