Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
