he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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